Okay - time to write about the "Diet" part of The Chastity Diet. First, a few facts and some history. I am six feet tall and in my mid-fifties. I started the diet at 184 lbs (183.8 - my scale reads in tenths, which ususally isn't that important but is now). I currently weigh 178.8 lbs, which means I've lost five pounds in 19 days. This is a rate of slightly better than a quarter pound a day or a pound every four days. This rate is right for me - it matches the rate at which I've successfully lost weight before.
Since the rule is "no sex until I've lost a pound from the weight I was when I last had sex," this doesn't sound too bad - sex every four days - but alas my body does not lose weight in a linear fashion. It will hang onto weight for some time before it finally gives up and releases it. The first pound took a week, my weight hovering between a half pound gained (!) and a half lost for the first six days, and then registering an overall two pound loss on the seventh. To encourage me, my wife actually went two rounds with me in celebration: an afternoon romp and a cozy next morning wake-up fuck. We were staying in a hotel for New Year's Eve, so that definitely added heat to the atmosphere - my wife is always more interested and passionate about sex in a hotel.
I guess a little weight loss and maintenance history about me is in order. Most of my young adult life, my weight hovered around 200 lbs.. I loved to eat; had an enormous appetite and generally didn't give a moment's thought to "healthy eating." About 22 years ago, my weight started to creep up, slowly at first and then at an increasing rate. It was a very stressful time in my life and my physical activity had been reduced to almost nothing. I was also smoking heavily. By my mid 30's my weight had balooned to 235 lbs, I was smoking 3+ packs a day and drinking a half-gallon of coffee a day as well. I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing heavily. I felt sick and exhausted all the time. After seeing some particularly unflattering photos of myself - finally seeing myself as others saw me, and knowing that I was on schedule for an early heart attack, I finally did something about it. I put myself on a strict 1500 calorie a day diet and began swimming to get my body moving a little. About 2 weeks into the diet, I quit smoking as well. I made it a test of wills - who was in charge, me or the food and cigarettes.
Well, it took 10 months, but I reached my goal of 165 lbs.. I had lost 70 pounds! I beat the nicotine habit and could swim a mile without breathing heavily. I was very proud of myself and began dating regularly again. I met my wife several months later and was immediately smitten. She was and is a tall, slim blonde with beautiful proportions. We were married a year later.
Sounds wonderful and it was. But there were two problems: First, I had no clue as to how I would maintain the weight loss. I still loved to eat and the foods I liked most were very calorie dense. Second, I didn't know it at the time, but the manner in which I'd lost the weight, even though it was slow and gradual, 6-8 lbs per month, damaged my metabolism. When I lost the weight, I didn't pay any attention to maintaining muscle mass - the main engine that burns calories. I didn't do any weight training and I didn't pay any attention to the amount of protein in my diet. The result was that even on 2000 calories a day, I was still regaining weight.
Over the course of the next ten years, the damaged metabolism meant that I would gain weight unless I stayed on a permanently draconian diet. I couldn't do it - life got busy. I travelled a lot. At least I stayed off the cigarettes and kicked the cafeine habit as well (decafe coffee only, no caffeinated soda). But I slowly regained weight - at first 3-4 lobs a year; then 4-5, then 5-6 lbs. It was slow but it was steady and inexorable. Over that ten year period, I had gained 50 of those lbs back. I was at 215 lbs.. I was very unhappy and demoralized and my wife, who always ate healthy and exercised, was still her wonderful slim self. She tried to be diplomatic about it, but there was no denying that I was not attractive to her in that state.
Before embarking on another long term diet, I did some reading about metabolism - what increases it; what decreases it. I didn't want to lose all that weight again, just to be left in the same situation of having a metabolism that was just too low to maintain my desired weight. I learned a lot about weight training, protein levels, food combinations, the effect of insulin production on weight gain and loss and protein timing. After a couple of months of study, I felt I understood what had happened before and was ready to try again.
I put myself back on a 1500 calorie per day diet, but this time with at least 500 of those calories coming from protein; I ate protein with small amounts of healthy types of fat when eating carbs, avoided high glycemic index sugars and starches and, perhaps most importantly, did weight training with a good personal trainer three times per week along with cardio on gym machines 3-4 times per week.
The rate of weight loss was about the same, but I noticed that I wasn't as hungry and I wasn't getting that shrunken, emaciated look that occurred last time. My muscle tone was better and, based upon measured body fat, I was actually gaining a small amount of muscle mass instead of losing it. I lost 45 lbs in 7 months.
The difference was amazing. When I had previously lost the weight, I had gotten much smaller but my basic shape hadn't changed - I was still rounded in the shoulders and chest, middle and hips. I was just a smaller version of me. This time, my body's basic shape had changed. My shoulders and chest were larger and more angular, my waist slimmer with abs visible and hips and butt more muscular.
I was at a solid 170 lbs. and had learned some important lessons about weight loss. Now the test was whether the greater muscle mass and higher metabolism would allow me to keep it off. For almost 7 years it did. As long as I did the weight training (twice per week), did cardio 3-4 times a week, and ate healthy with lots of protein, I was, for the first time in my life, resistent to weight gain. I could go on vacation, binge a little and still not gain weight. This was very cool.
About three years ago, my long time trainer moved away. Even after 6 years of weight training, I never grew to like it. I could do it if I had an appointment with my trainer and she pushed me (yup, a female trainer - maybe that was part of the reason for the success). But on my own, I just couldn't stick with it. I never did find another trainer suitable for me - most were too young and temporary.
My life got very busy again - stress levels went up. My travel schedule got ridiculous and slowly but surely, the things that allowed me to maintain that weight started to fall away. No trainer so no weight training. Lots of work and travel, little time for cardio workouts. Food on the run - lots of eating out, more and more bad food choices. In a year and a half, I gained about five pounds. Doesn't sound like much, but after 6 years of never varying more than a pound or so, it was a lot and it was a harbinger of more to come. I steadied out for a few months at about 175 lbs., but about a year ago, when stress levels went up and all good food choices started to disappear, the weight gain started again. In a year's time, I put on 9 lbs. and there was no end in sight.
I tried to put a stop to it. Starting diets several times. But my old discipline failed me. There was always an excuse - too busy, need to be at my best, will start tomorrow, will workout twice as long tomorrow. On and on - I was surprised, disappointed in myself and scared that I would become that 235 lb. whale again - there didn't seem to be anything standing in the way.
I knew what the right things to do were - I knew what foods to eat, how much and when. I knew how much exercise I had to do and what type. I simply lacked the discipline, really the motivation to follow it. Then I hit upon the idea of The Chastity Diet. What stronger motivation for me was there then sex? None, absolutely none. Suppose after three days of dieting and sexual abstinence, my sexual release was dependent upon not eating that bowl of Chex mix with my evening glass of wine? Would I pass it up? Would I choose the opportunity for sexual release? Suppose I had lots of work related tasks to do but I needed to go to the gym to burn off 500 calories today which would allow me to lose that last two tenths of a pound to meet my one pound loss requirement for sex - would I do it? Would I find the time to go workout? After 19 days, I have found that the answer is a resounding YES! It really does work to counter-balance the immediate attraction and satisfaction of food or the avoidance of immediate discomfort from exercising.
Every time I've had one of those decisions to make in these last 19 days, the decision was the right one in terms of weight loss and advancing me towards an opportunity for sexual release. Ultimately, every diet consists of choices - being confronted with dozens of choices every day - what do I eat? How much? When? Do I exercise? When? How much? Every decision is like a scale or a balance - on one side is the attraction of food, the immediate comfort and satisfaction it brings; or the avoidance of discomfort from exercising. On the other side is the motivation for the diet - health, appearance, even sexual attractiveness. The food or non-exercise choice often wins, often outweighs the motivation because it is more immediate, more acutely felt; the motivation for losing the weight more long term.
By introducing sexual release as a motivation, I have effectly biased the scale in favor of making the correct weight loss decisions. For me, there is nothing except air and water that is more acute, urgent and immediate than the need for sexual release. And going without it, and knowing that I will continue to go without unless I meet my short term goal of losing a pound, makes it even more acute, urgent and immediate.
In future posts, I will talk about the effect of abstinence or chastity on sex when it actually finally occurs and what my wife thinks about it all - at least the part she knows about. And, I will talk about my struggles with the abstinence part of this program. The chastity part of this is totally new for me. I have been reading other blogs and picking up some good tips. I am always looking for more. Til next time.
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